Here I go..................

I feel the need to be real.................how about that?  MY  goodness, here i go...........

Perhaps i have been real all along, so hard to preceive how i am to others..............i know i have been insecure all my life.....i don't feel that way now.............i do feel lonely tho.......i think i would like a partner......but then i think i have been single 3 years and in this time i have found myself without a man.  S o really i guess being with a man, never helped me to know who I am, so why do i think i need a man?  Might have something to do with the fact couples are everywhere...............

I wonder why people can't just accept each other.  Why we have to judge each other, and be cruel? I know love changes people and it changes things. I WISH WE ALL COULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND NOT SEE DIFFERENCES..... ah that is a good wish.................I really long for a better world. a healed world where there is peace and harmony with us all................

In my life i am learning that everything i have learned in this life is a lie......all of it.....JESUS said to become like a small child, now i know why.....to see everything as a child would no judgements, or illutions, or beliefs. but to just be.................

I like to stay by myself these days, it feels better this way.  N ot that i want to be by myself but it just is easier to deal with this life..................A BETTER WORLD IS COMING.................

I don't know how to express myself................i have so many ideas and thoughts going thru me everyday......maybe it is time to quiet the mind to go to my heart center and see what is really happenning......the things around me are not real, what is real?

I would like to just let everyone know how much i really love them.  i say it, but do they know HOW MUCH this comes from my very heart and soul with such a force I  am not able to express it at all.............whenever i use the word love it is not just a word  ....................so i can even love a stranger, i have learned how to do this.......and it is because we are all one, coming from the same place and Creator................

I even love those who have hurt me.......i forgive them as well.....................from these dear souls i have learned to be a better person................i in fact care about them very much and always will............

i never hit the surface of what i want to say, it is still in my heart, but i will be back and see what else comes forth, these moments are not planned they just surface............if they were planned it would not be real....

more changes are coming and it is time to go within and find our SOURCE of hope, love, victory and overcomings, to help others more than ourselves, to myself i say this first and for most....as really this was written for me to get my heart right..................

let us believe in ourselves.............and who we are, not going by what others tell us who or what we are but who our Creator has told us we are, and then live it, yes hephzibah go girl......and all of you tooo..

who am i?

i wake up everyday, and wonder where am I?  i seem too be in a world of make believe................all around me i see what is protrayed to the world as real.  yet i know in my heart it is not.

i wonder who am i in this world of make believe?  i am not the cities, i am not, the movies, or entertainment, i am not so many things in this world...............

see, i don.t believe i am of this world i am merely IN it, until my time to go.  so for me and who i am, i feel so alone....lost in a land of make believe...............

i don't even want to fit in, it is not for me to fit in.  you see i am me..............whoever, or however that is it is me...........you know i used to feel i had to fit in......but the more i became aware of what the world is, i knew i could not go there.

at first this was scary for me to be this way, now it is good and the only way for me..........i don't feel better than the rest, goodness i know my weaknesses...............no i just strive to be a better person every day................i try to bring a smile to a stranger, to say some compliment.  i know most people enjoy hearing kind words, i know i do,,,so i try to lift people up.

i don't get out much tho, as i enjoy my seclusion.  yet when i do get i look for the ones who might need encouragement and a smile..............i don't judge anymore like i used to.  oh i used to be so good at that bad thing of judging, now i look for me to just stop it.............as i know what i judge is still in me.

ouch that hurts, i don't want to hurt myself............so i am learning to just stop judgeing..........i am not perfect here, but it is a life goal, to just love everybody as they are faults and all, wouldn't JESUS do that?

i am tired of holding in who i am...............i just have to be me................i am far from perfect as i said, it just feels good to let it out and be me................

the world is changeing fast now,,,,,,,,,i see i must draw closer to  my truth and my loving CREATOR to know and live in HIM to find my way to be more for HIM and to let go of fears,  fears have always held me back from being me,,,,,,,,,,but as i drawer closer to HIM and know the way to go i find peace and love..............

so today i say i love me and when i love me i love everyone else too..........i have found this is the way to finding peace.............

love is the answer to the question who am i, it has just taken a life time to figure that out...............i love all my friends and family  and just want to be better at loving...........

my peace to all.............just be who you are, and learn to really love yourself as you are.............it will make a huge difference..............